The last time
I stopped by the dollar store
On my way to your place
My mouth was dry and I needed gum
The line was long, I waited
Way back near the pet supplies
I saw one of those squeaky toys
Molded to look like the morning paper
Clever, I thought
The headline on the toy said,
MAN BITES DOG
The details were in chicken scratch
We almost embraced in your doorway
I heard an unfamiliar squeal
And a cold nose found my pant leg scent
He was young and biting everything
You said your parents got him for granny
For Christmas
But he drove her crazy
So you were gonna keep him now
You never could decide on a name
But your mom and your dad chose Sammy
They’d heard it so much lately
It just happened, and it stuck
I said, that’s so funny
I don’t know if I’m flattered
Or if the joke’s on me
Because I’m here to get back my CDs
A week later and Sammy would have never caught on
You’d kept them in the same neat piles
And my clothes, too
They all smelled like yours
They washed well but they were never the same
Sorry I kept joking
It must have sucked
Breaking up with me
Then hearing your parents keep saying my name
With that cutesy voice every day
